Heartache and Healing
by cuddlebearlove
Summary: After the fall of Grindelwald, Minerva and Albus must deal with the heartache left behind from that fateful night. MMAD with mentions of rape. Complete
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Not mine

AN: This is MM/AD with mentions of rape. You have been warned.

Chapter One: Awakening

Minerva McGonagall woke up in the hospital wing. At first she didn't remember what had led to her being there. Then it all came flooding back.

It was the final battle with Grindelwald. She had rushed into battle with her husband, only to become separated from him. After she was captured by one of Grindelwald supporters, she was immediately taken to the evil wizard. Nobody knew, thankfully, whose wife she was. Had they known she surely would have been killed instantly. Instead, Grindelwald brutally raped her. Just when it seemed that she would be killed, her husband burst in, along with other order members.

Albus Dumbledore would have killed Grindelwald no matter what. He was a horrible wizard who could not be stopped any other way. However, when Albus saw his wife laying naked and bleeding on the floor, something exploded in him. The always calm man let loose all his emotions and, in a matter of moments, Grindelwald had fallen. As she watched the dark lord crumple, Minerva lost consciousness.

Now, here she lay. Her bruises and cuts were mostly healed, though she still felt sore. Her only thought was that she needed to get out of bed. The smell in the hospital wing was making her want to gag. She needed to get away. As she started to easy her way out of bed, Poppy came rushing in.

"Just where do you think you are going, Minerva?" questioned the new mediwitch.

"I'm fine. I have work to do and"

"I'm afraid that won't be possible. You need to stay and rest. Albus has asked that you remain here for him. He should be up shortly."

"Nonsense." Minerva replied. "Albus is very busy, and I'm sure he is also tired after the happenings of the last couple of weeks. There is no reason to burden him anymore. I will just be going back to our rooms."

Honestly, Minerva wasn't really looking forward to seeing her husband. She loved him dearly, but she had just been through a terrible ordeal. He would probably want her to talk about it, which she definately wasn't ready for. She also felt ashamed, and scared of how he would now look at her.

However, there is no postponing the inevitable. Just as Minerva was making a second attempt at getting up, the door opened and in walked her husband. She panicked. There was no way she could deal with this right now. So, without thinking, she ran to the bathroom.

Albus had seen his wife's hasty retreat, and he was very concerned. He knew that she had been through a very emotional night. He wanted, more than anything to take her pain away. It was important to him that she knew she had his full support. He glanced at Poppy, then strode over to the bathroom door.

"Minerva, love. I just want you to know that I love you, and when you need me, you know where to find me."

Inside the bathroom, Minerva had tears running down her face. She loved Albus dearly, but was so confused and afraid. The two had not been married very long and she was afraid that he would change his mind, considering she had been with another man.

"No. It wasn't like that." she told herself. "You didn't chose it. You didn't want it. Albus is the most considerate, caring man you have ever met. He will understand."

"Did you see how angry he was when he came in that room last night?" The thought sprang to the front of her mind out of nowhere."

"Angry at Grindelwald, not you."

"How can you be sure."

She continued arguing with herself in this vein for quite some time. She was unaware that, after twenty minutes with no response from her, her husband had left her to her thoughts. Eventually, she became aware of how dirty she felt. She quickly stripped off her pajamas and stepped into the shower.

Back in his office, Dumbledore was busy packing, lost in thought. He was very concerned for his wife. He needed to be there for her in any way possible. He also needed to deal with the reporters, all wanting to talk to the man who defeated Grindelwald. He needed to meet with the Hogwarts' board of governors. He also needed to find a way to tell his wife that Headmaster Dippet had been killed in battle.

The resposibilities of being headmaster were the last thing he needed right now. However, it was his job as deputy to assume the role should anything happen to the head of the school. So, he was now vacating his old teacher's office for that of the headmaster. This meant that he would also need a new Tranfiguration professor, and that Gryffindor would need a new head of house.

Back in the hospital wing, Minerva had showered and transfigured a clean pair of pajamas into a set of robes. She left the bathroom, and looked around. As there was no sign of Poppy, she dashed out the door and started off to her own quarters. Her personal quarters led to those she shared with her husband, just as his also did. They rarely used their personal ones for anything other than a walkway to the familial ones. She hoped he would not impede on her there.

When Poppy left her office half an hour later, it was to discover that Minerva was gone. She decided it would be best to look for her on her own rather than notify Albus. He was very busy, and stressed enough as it was. Also, she was aware that he was her new boss. She had only been the school mediwitch for two months and felt it would be a bad start to announce she had lost the headmaster's wife.

When flooing the couple's quarters, and Minerva's office didn't work, she began to panic slightly. She tried to convince herself that Minerva may have simply gone on a walk to think. "Should Minerva really be alone right now?" she wondered. Finally, she gave up and flooed Albus' office.

"Um, Albus?" Poppy timidly asked.

"Yes, my dear?"

"Um, I'm sorry to bother you, but you wouldn't happen to know where Minerva is, would you?"

"WHAT"

"Um, well, you see, um"

"How long ago did she leave?" Albus didn't really need to hear anymore. He knew how stubborn his wife could be.

"I'm not sure, but she's not in your quarters or her office."

"Very well. I will find her."

He went straight to their quarters, then continued to hers. It was there that he found her asleep. She was curled into a ball and had tear stains covering her cheeks. Albus left her there and took a seat in her sitting room, perfectly intent to wait on her to wake.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter Two: Beginning to Talk

As it turned out, Albus had to wait so long that he fell asleep. The next morning, he awoke to discover his wife gone. He wished she would stop running. He loved her dearly, and only wished to speak with her for a moment. He had no intention of pushing her to talk.

Minerva was currently walking around the lake. She had been furious this morning to find her husband in her personal quarters. Normally she wouldn't have minded, but given the circumstances, she couldn't believe he had intruded in her own space. Why had he waited there for her, anyway.

"Because he is concerned about you." said a tiny voice in her head.

"Then why hasn't he tried to..."

"He's tried to talk twice. You ignored him in the hospital wing, and left before he awoke this morning."

Where this self-doubt was coming from, Minerva couldn't understand. While she never understood what made Albus fall for her when he could have had any woman he wanted, she had always been confident in his love for her.

She sighed. She couldn't keep running from Albus. Wasn't it best to get it over with, come what may? Slowly she turned and walked back up to the castle.

Once inside the entrance hall, she ran into Nearly Headless Nick.

"Good morning, Professor."

"Morning, Nick."

"How are you this morning?"

"I'm okay, Nick. How are you?"

"Still dead I'm afraid. I don't expect that to change, though."

Minerva was just about to walk on, when Nick spoke again and brought her to a standstill.

"Who do you suppose will be the new head of Gryffindor?"

"WHAT"

"Well, no house can be without a head. I was wondering if you might now who would replace Professor Dumbledore."

"Oh sweet Merlin, he is leaving." thought Minerva. She began to feel her world crashing in on her. She turned away from Nick and began storming through the halls. They had been happy up until two nights ago. Sure, their world had been involved in a gruesome war, but they were together. They had promised each other they would always be together no matter what. So much for her husband being understanding.

When she reached Albus' office, intent on telling him off, she found it half packed already.

"It's true." she whispered. She had hoped Nearly Headless Nick had been misinformed. Upon seeing the office this way, she knew he had not been.

She would have to leave as well. There was no way she could still live and work in the castle with her husband gone. Hogwarts just wouldn't fell like home anymore.

She decided to go pack first. Then she could write her letter of resignation and go see Headmaster Dippet. She didn't know where she would go once she left the castle. She had no other family, and all her friends were either studying at the Ministry, or working apprenticeships at Hogwarts. There was always the Flamels, but they were more Albus' friends than hers. Aberforth might be understanding, but he was her husband's brother. Plus, she hated goats.

She entered her quarters in a huff. She didn't even notice Albus sitting on her couch. She stormed into her bedroom and summoned her luggage from the closet.

Albus had just sat up when his wife came storming into her sitting room. Without acknowledging him at all, she went straight into her bedroom. He got up and followed.

"Are you going somewhere, my dear?" he asked in his kindest voice. While he would never admit it to anyone but his wife, he was a little intimidated by her. It was, in fact, one of the things that had first attracted him to her. He loved the fact that she wasn't afraid to stand up to anyone, even the supposed "great" Albus Dumbledore.

Minerva whirled around, startled to find him there. Then she found her voice. "Don't you 'my dear' me, Albus Dumbledore." she screamed.

She didn't know when she had started to cry, but tears were running freely down her face. Albus desperately wanted to comfort her, but, as he seemed to be the cause of her ire, he stayed where he was.

"How could you? Were you even going to tell me? Were you even going to say good-bye?"

"Are you under the impression I am going somewhere?" Albus asked patiently.

"Don't play your little 'I'm calm and serene all the time' game with me. I know you are." She was still shouting, though her tears had stopped.

"What gave you this idea, love?"

"Stop calling me those silly little endearments when you are leaving me. Nearly Headless Nick asked who I thought would replace you as head of Gryffindor. I went looking for you in your office, and you seem to be in the middle of packing. I can't believe you were going to leave like that."

"Perhaps you should sit down." Albus suggested, realization dawning.

"I'm fine standing, thanks."

"Minerva."

"No, Albus. If you don't want a marriage, then you don't have the right to make suggestions and."

"Will you please listen, Minerva. I am not leaving."

"What?" Minerva was confused. "If you're not leaving than why... What's going on?"

"I"'m afraid Armando was killed fighting Grindelwald."

"What?" she asked again, sitting down. "Armando is dead?".

"Yes. Upon his death, I became the new headmaster. I was indeed packing my office, but only to tranfer my belongs to the headmaster's office. That is also why Gryffindor is in need of a new head. It would not be fair for me to continue to oversee one of the houses, nor will I have the time."

"I see. Well then, I suppose I owe you an apology."

"That is not necessary, my dear. You are understandably upset right now. I do have one question though."

"Yes, Albus?"

"How could you possibly think I would leave you?"

A/N: Please review. I am so very grateful for the two reviews I got for the first chapter! Thanks!


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter Three: Avoidance

Minerva suddenly tensed. She wasn't ready to talk about this. Though considering what she had just accused her husband of, she felt she owed him some sort of an explanation. She tried to think of something she could say that would pacify him, but nothing came to mind.

Albus was studying his wife. She looked pale, and was shaking slightly. The sight broke his heart. He reached out to take hold of her hand. Minerva jumped up and took several shaky steps back.

"It's okay, Albus. I just over-reacted. I'm fine."

"Minerva?"

"I'm fine." she repeated, her voice growing louder.

"All right. Minerva, you do know you can talk to me, don't you. I realize you may not be ready, but I will be more than willing to listen when you are."

Minerva stared at her husband. How had he known exactly what she needed to hear? Hearing him say the words outloud, the reassurance that he wasn't leaving, was just the push she needed.

"I, um, I thought you were leaving me because of what happened. Because of...: Here Minerva trailed off. She just couldn't say it. She glanced at her husband to make sure he had understood what she was trying to say. Albus didn't appear confused, only immensly sad.

"You must know that was not your fault. There was nothing you could have done to prevent it. I would certainly never leave you because of it."

Minerva didn't say anything. She simply stood there. Two lonely tears leaked from her eyes. Albus went to wipe them away, but again she withdrew from him.

"Minerva."

"You should get to breakfast. The staff will be wondering where their employer is."

"They can wait."

"No. You have only just become headmaster. You don't want to get off on the wrong foot. You should go."

"Very well, if you insist."

"I do."

"Will you accompany me?"

"I'm not hungry. I think I will just stay here and rest."

"You must try to eat something. I will have one of the house elves bring a tray."

"That's not necessary. If I get hungry I can summon one."

"Are you sure."

"Yes." Minerva shouted. She was quickly growing irritated by his coddling.

"Very well. I shall come check on you before lunch." Albus then turned and walked out the door.

Minerva crawled back into bed and fell into a restless sleep.

Poppy met Albus in the Entrance Hall. She was absolutely frantic, and had to take several deep breaths before she could speak.

"Professor, I still haven't found her." Her voice was very high and she seemed near the verge of tears.

It was then that Albus realized he had forgotten to floo Poppy last night and let her know that Minerva had been located. He felt terrible.

"So she's okay." asked Poppy, after Albus had told her she was in her chambers. He also apologized profusely for his failure to notify her sooner.

"Yes, she is as well as she can be expected, given the circumstances."

"There is still a potion she needs to take, and she must take it soon for it to be effective."

"Is there something physically wrong with her, Poppy?"

"She has some slight bruising and she may be a bit sore, but that is not what the potion is for. It is to prevent her from becoming pregnant."

Albus looked alarmed. "How quickly does she need to take it?"

"She has a few hours still. Since I now know where she is, I can take it to her after breakfast. Can I ask you a somewhat personal question?"

"Of course."

"How does she seem to be doing emotionally?"

"Not very well, I am afraid. I don't believe she slept well last night, and she has been very temperamental this morning. She also will not let me get close enough to touch her at all."

"I have the names of several counselors at St. Mungo's if you feel that is something that needs to be looked into."

"I think it might be too soon to make that decision. I will keep it in mind, however."

After breakfast, Poppy headed down to Minerva's quarters. She knocked on the door, but there was no answer. Finally, she summoned a house elf to go and check on the young woman.

After a few minutes, Minerva arrived at the door to her chambers. She ushered Poppy in, while the house elf departed.

"What can I do for you, Poppy?"

"You need to take this." Poppy answered as she produced a vial filled with a thick, brown potion.

"What is it?"

"It is an emergency contraception potion. You need to take it quickly in order for it to still work properly."

Minerva uncorked it and drank it in one gulp.

"Are there any other potions you need, Minerva? I can give you something to calm you or help you sleep."

"No, thank you. I'm fine."

"If you change your mind you know where to find me."

"Thank you, Poppy."

Minerva decided after the mediwitch left that she really needed another shower. She stayed under the hot spray for an hour, lost in thought. She idly wondered if she could get a time turner. If so, she might be able to change what had happened. She might be able to get her life back. This seemed highly unlikely, though. The use of time turners was heavily regulated by the Ministry. Even if she did get one, there would be no guarantee that it would change anything. She might even end up making things worse.

By the time she was dried and dressed, Albus was arriving to walk her to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Are you ready for lunch, my dear?"

"I don't think I am going to lunch today. I have work to get caught up on. I'm still not very hungry."

"You can not make yourself sick like this. You must eat something, even if it is not much."

"I'll have a house elf-"

"That's what you said for breakfast. Did you call for one, or did you simply ignore the meal?"

Minerva looked down guiltily.

"If you do not wish to eat in the Great Hall with everyone, we can eat here."

"You need to go. The staff might need you."

"You need me as well. Whatever they may require can wait until after lunch."

Minerva was known for her stubborness, but her husband was capable of being equally stubborn. She finally relented and he had an elf bring up a tray from the kitchen. The two sat and ate at a table in Minerva's sitting room. At least, Albus ate; Minerva nibbled at her food for awhile.

Toward the end of the meal, Albus began speaking.

"We are going to have to rearrange our quarters slightly. I believe the castle can be coerced into allowing my new rooms to meet with the chambers we share. It will require a couple of advanced spells, but should not be too dfficult."

Minerva suddenly panicked again. She hadn't actually thought about their sleeping arrangements since she had stayed in her own room last night. She just didn't feel comfortable with the idea of sleeping next to a man. Even if the man was her noble and well-intentioned husband.

"Minerva?" Albus had noticed her silence, and it was starting to worry him. She looked so distraught, and he had simply been speaking of their living arrangements.

"Minerva?" he asked again. "What is it, my dear?"

"I was actually thinking of remaining in my quarters for the time being. That way, you will have time to adjust to your new role at the school without me getting in the way."

Albus was stunned. He had no idea what to say. His wife stood and walked back into her bedroom, closing the door behind her.

The headmaster decided to make a trip to the hospital wing. He was now highly confused, and a little annoyed. He knew that whatever was going on was not the fault of his wife. In order to reach her, he had to understand more of what she was going through.

He explained the situation to Poppy, and then listened intently to what she had to say.

"Minerva is feeling a lot right now. She is confused, scared, and sad. She is most likely feeling violated, and could even be feeling guilty. The fact she thought you were leaving her certainly points to guilt."

"Guilt over what? I have already told her there was nothing she could have down to prevent what happened."

Poppy hesitated. She knew what she was going to say would not be comforting for the new headmaster. She was even mildly uncomfortable talking about it with him.

"She may feel like she has cheated on you."

"What?"

"Oftentimes, women who are raped feel like they have cheated on their husbands, even though they know they did not consciously want it. It's a psychological thing. If they cheated on their loved one, then it was something they did. Not something that was done to them. It gives them power over what happened, but leaves feelings of guilt behind. It also begins to distort the rape, and confuse the victim even more.

"That sounds very overwhelming."

"It is. May I be candid, headmaster?"

"Of course."

"I know you want to help her, but you will never possibly be able to understand what it is like for a woman to go through this. All you can really do is be patient and wait for her to talk to you. It could be quite some time before that happens though. It will be harder for Minerva, as she is always so in charge. It won't be easy for her to admit that she had no control over what happened to her. Has she acknowledged any of what happened?"

"No. She has avoided everything."

"She hasn't accepted it yet. Once she does, then she can talk to you. However, I am going to speak with her myself later this afternoon. She has to know that she can't change her lifestyle to accommodate the feelings she is having right now. If she does that, she will never begin to heal. I'm going to give you the names of those counselors I mentioned earlier."

Poppy did indeed go back to Minerva's quarters later that day. Minerva was not in her chambers, though. Poppy eventually located her in her office, trying to catch up on paperwork for the upcoming school year.

"Could I have a second, Minerva?"

'"Yes, but please be brief. I am already a bit behind."

"I talked to Professor Dumbledore this afternoon. He is very concerned about you."

"He needn't be."

"Shutting him out would be a mistake, Minerva. He isn't going to be pushy; he just wants to help. Please don't alienate him. I know that sharing a bed with him may seem difficult, but halting your marriage will cause irreparable damage to it. At least trust him enough to know he would never hurt you, or touch you if you are not ready."

"I- oh, Poppy. I don't know what I'm doing. I've felt so disconnected to everything the last two days." Minerva said, starting to cry.

"I know." said the mediwitch soothingly. "Take time to think about what I said. He loves you. Don't turn from him when you need him most."

Minerva ended up going for a walk around the lake again. She stayed outside so long that she missed dinner. Indeed, it was dark when she finally returned to the castle.

Albus had been highly concerned when he could not find his wife in any of their quarters or her office. He entered the Great Hall, hoping she would be there, but she was again absent. Poppy saw him scan the table with a disappointed look on his face. She hurried over to him to find out what was wrong.

When he told her that Minerva was missing, she suggested it was a good sign. She assumed it meant that Minerva had taken time out to think, and try to come to terms with a couple of things.

Albus was in the couple's quarters when Minerva found him. She walked over and sat next to her husband on the couch. He sat quietly, waiting for her to make the first move.

"I'm sorry, Albus."

"You have no reason to apologize."

"Yes, I do. I shouldn't have tried to push you away. I am so confused right now."

"I understand."

"I don't think you do. I'm not entirely sure I do. I know I still love you. Poppy was right. Trying to distance myself from you would be a mistake. I just don't want to be a burden to you right now. There is so much you must adjust to."

"You have never been a burden to me, nor will you ever be. Our lives are changing drastically. I want us to be able to support each other."

"I also want that."

"I love you, my dear Minerva."

"I love you too, Albus."

A/N: I know some of you are getting tired of waiting for the fluff. Unfortunately, it will still be a chapter or two before that happens. To accommodate all of you, I have written a one-shot prequel to this. Heartache and Healing: The Prequel (original title, huh?) should be up today. Thanks to all those who reviewed! Please keep it up:) I love you guys.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter Four: New Responsibilites

The two remained seated on the couch, simply holding hands for hours. Minerva eventually fell asleep on the couch. Albus covered her with a blanket and left her there. He then went to her bedroom and laid down.

It was only two hours later that he was awoken by her screaming. He rushed into the sitting room to find her still asleep. She was obviously in the throes of a horrible nightmare. He reached out and gently shook her.

"Minerva." he whispered. Then a little louder, "Minerva."

Minerva was not completely awake, nor was she in a deep sleep. She remembered someone holding her down, while she tried to fight her attacker. She also felt someone shaking her shoulder. Without thinking, she reached up and punched whoever was touching her.

Albus gasped as his wife's fist made contact with the side of his head. Upon hearing her husband, Minerva's eyes flew open. The look of fear on her face quickly changed to horror.

"Oh Merlin, Albus. I am so sorry."

"It's all right, love." He said while still holding a hand to his face.

"No. I didn't mean it. I had been dreaming and just got confused. Please forgive me. Are you all right? I'll get some ice."

"That is not necessary. I am fine. How are you?"

"Oh, I'm okay."

Albus didn't believe her for a second. She was shaky and sweaty. She also didn't typical rush her speech, as she was now doing. He walked over to a corner table where he had left the potions Poppy gave him. Picking up a calming draught, he uncorked it and handed it to his wife.

"What? No I don't need it, thank you."

"Minerva, please."

"Oh, okay. If it will make you happy." She took the vial and drained it. "There. Now if you would excuse me, I need a shower."

"It's the middle of the night, love."

"Yes. Well, you can never be too clean."

"Minerva. If you wish to talk, I am here."

"There's nothing to talk about. It was just a nightmare."

"A nightmare about what?" He, of course, already knew. He wanted her to be able to admit it.

"What do you think." she snapped. She immediately regretted it when she saw the hurt look on her husband's face.

"When you wish to talk, you know where to find me." With that, Albus walked back into her bedroom.

Minerva spent another hour in the shower. Her skin was raw and beginning to bruise from the many rough scrubbings she had given it. After she was dressed, she went for a walk.

After an hour by the lake, she found that she was growing hungry; she hadn't eaten over four bites the day before. It was early enough that most of the staff wouldn't be in the Great Hall. Making up her mind, she headed back up to the castle.

When Minerva entered the hall, she was shocked to discover all the professors there. It was almost enough to make her turn and run. She wasn't sure how many of the people now looking at her knew what had happened in the final battle. If they were unaware, it would seem odd for her to be running away from them. It was only the thought of preserving some of her dignity that got her to the head table.

"Good morning, Minerva." said Flitwick cheerily.

"Morning." she mumbled as she sat at her usual place, a few seats down from the headmaster's seat. It hadn't occured to her that with his recent promotion she would no longer be sitting by her husband at meals.

"Merlin, someone got up on the wrong side of the bed this morning." Professor Slughorn remarked. Minerva wanted to punch him but settled for openly glaring.

People began to eat. Though she was hungry, Minerva just couldn't force herself to eat more than a few bites. Other professors were beginning to notice.

"Are you feeling well, Minerva?" asked one of them.

"I'm fine." she answered automatically.

"Maybe it's stress." suggested Slughorn.

"Oh no." Minerva thought. "Please, God, don't let _him_ know. Of all people, not him."

Slughorn continued. "She has, after all, been given much to think about."

Minerva was close to panic when her husband spoke. "Now Horace, we needn't bring that up just yet."

"Just yet." She thought, wildly. "Is he intending to tell them, at some point? Why would he?"

"Come now, Albus. We all know. Have you formally accepted yet, Minerva, or are you still required to sleep with him a few more times before it is official?"

"WHAT?" screamed Minerva, at the same time that Albus yelled "Horace."

The staff were all staring from Slughorn, to Minerva, to Albus. No one seemed to understand how the potions master had so openly questioned the headmaster. He may have only held the title for a couple of days, but he still deserved their respect.

Minerva was close to tears when Flitwick spoke again. "Don't worry, Minerva. We all know you deserve it, no matter what others think." He glanced significantly at Slughorn as he said this last part.

"Deserve it? What are you talking about?" Minerva asked.

"Your promotion, of course. As Dumbledore's apprentice, it is only natural that you be made the new Transfiguration professor." answered Flitwick.

"What?" she asked again. She looked to her husband, only to find him avoiding her gaze.

Without another word, she walked out of the hall.

Minerva was fuming. She could understand why he hadn't asked her, yet. What she was upset about was the fact the rest of the staff already knew. What had possessed him to tell them before her?

She stormed into her room and prepared to take another shower. Before she could strip off her clothes, her husband entered her chambers.

"Minerva, please don't be angry. The only reason they know is because I was required to submit the name of the new Transfiguration professor to the board of governors yesterday."

"Yesterday? You had only been headmaster for a day. That is insane." Her anger had quickly turned to indignation on her husband's behalf.

"They're testing me." he answered calmly. "They want to make sure I am more than capable of running Hogwarts."

"Of course you are capable. Armando never would have named you duputy had you not been."

"I realize this, Minerva. You know how the board can be, though. They have the best interests of the students at heart, but can sometimes be a little overzealous."

"I'll say."

"So, will you do it?"

"Oh Albus, you know I will."

"Excellent." Then Albus hesitated.

"Is there something else?"

"I perhaps also told the board that you are the new head of Gryffindor."

"Do you not remember?"

"That's what I told them." Albus admitted.

"Surely there are more appropriate options. This will be my first year as an actual professor."

"You are the only other person besides Poppy and myself who was a Gryffindor in school. Therefore, you were the only option."

"Oh, fine." Minerva sighed. With all the work she now had to do, at least her thoughts would be kept off recent events.

"Is that what Slughorn meant with that comment he made. He thinks I slept with you for a promotion?" she asked.

"Yes. As you may have noticed, the rest of the staff feels differently. Don't think anything of it, my dear."

"Who did you announce as the new deputy?"

Albus looked at her, trying to decide how to break the news. He remained silent too long, however.

"Albus Dumbledore, you didn't." she exclaimed.

"The staff actually voted on that." answered her husband. "As you are aware, the duputy headmaster, or in this case headmistress, has to be one of the four heads. Filius didn't want the extra responsibility. Madara Sprout was concerned she would be too busy teaching and raising Pomona. That left you and Horace. Would you honestly have preferred him being chosen?"

"How many votes did he receive?" questioned Minerva.

"Just one. You can guess who cast it."

Minerva groaned. "No, I wouldn't have preferred Horace. It's just a lot of new responsibility."

"Don't feel overwhelmed. With recent events, I don't expect you to just jump right in. I will take care of the responsibilities of head of Gryffindor until terms starts. All you are required to do is prepare your lesson plans. You can, of course, use the ones I made last year if you choose."

"I'll have to think about it and decide later. Right now, I need to shower."

With that, she turned on him and walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind her.

A/N: Thanks for all the great reviews. I love you guys. I also got my first flame ever for the prequel. Apparently, the summary, where it plainly said MM/AD rated M for sex, left some question as to the fact that Minerva and Albus would be having sex in it. Sorry to the person who was so offended, but it was right there.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter Five: Saying It

A couple hours later, Poppy visited Albus.

"I'm not questioning your judgment, but are you sure it was wise to heave so much responsibility onto Minerva right now?"

"My hands were tied, Poppy. I couldn't very well hire someone other than her to teach when she has been my apprentice for so long. House heads must be professors; she was the only possibility. The staff wanted her as the deputy. There is still five weeks until term starts. Surely by then she will have recovered slightly."

"Just don't let her get too bogged down in work before she deals with the rape. If she simply puts it behind her without truly dealing with it, it will haunt her for the rest of her life."

Minerva skipped lunch, but did go to the hall for dinner. She sat beside her husband, in the deputy's seat. She caught Slughorn staring at her several times, but he never dared say anything to her. He even stopped watching when Albus caught him staring.

Minerva was certain Albus was watching how much she was eating. She managed a little more than breakfast, but it was still a meager meal. After she finished eating, Minerva went to her chambers. She was just emerging from another shower when her husband entered.

"I wanted to let you know that plans have been finalized for Armando's memorial service. It will be held the day after tomorrow by the lake."

"Okay." she responded. She honestly felt terrible. Her preoccupation with her own troubles had left her with very little time to mourn the passing of her colleague and friend.

"I have also made the changes to the headmaster's quarters. They are now joined to ours."

Minerva stiffened slighly and nodded.

"Where will I be staying tonight?" he asked her.

She almost told him to stay wherever he wanted, until she remembered what Poppy had said.

"We will be going back to our shared rooms." Minerva bravely answered.

Minerva gathered the paperwork and books she had brought to her personal rooms over the last two days. Then, she led Albus down the hall and through the door to the place they knew as home.

While Albus worked on the speech he was expected to give at the memorial, Minerva read over old lesson plans. The two worked silently until it was very late. It was nice to simply sit together comfortably without either expecting the other to do or say anything. It was a relief to escape the awkwardness of the past two days. When Minerva finally yawned, both realized how late it had gotten.

"We should be getting to bed. It is late, and I'm sure you are tired."

"I'm all right, Albus." Minerva answered, secretly fearing the moment they would have to go to bed together.

"Would you like one of the sleeping potions Poppy sent you?"

"No, thank you."

"I can sleep somewhere else." Albus could sense his wife's apprehension from across the room. He knew it wasn't something she could help, but it still hurt. In the years that they had been together, he had never raised his hand to her. Nor, had he ever forced her into doing anything she didn't want to do.

"No, that's not necessary. You're my husband."

"I don't want to rush you."

"Poppy said that if I withdraw from you now, it will just be harder later."

"You shouldn't do anything that makes you feel uncomfortable, though. If you are not ready to share a bed with me, I will understand."

"No, I...Let's just go to bed."

Albus hesitantly followed his wife to their bedroom. Once there, Minerva headed to the bathroom and showered. When she emerged, she was wearing pajamas, and a dressing gown. Albus was not accustomed to this, as normally she slept next to him nude, but he didn't say anything. He understood that it may be quite some time before she was at ease exposing herself to him.

After he showered, Albus laid down next to his wife. She was pretending to be asleep, but he could tell by her quickened breathe that she was awake, and close to hyperventilating.

"Minerva?"

"Good night, Albus."

"Good night, Minerva."

Minerva didn't sleep much again that night. The next morning she got up early and showered again. Albus was still asleep when she emerged for the bathroom. She went for another walk around the lake before going to the Great Hall for breakfast.

Albus awoke an hour later to an empty bed. He sighed. He hadn't been aware of when his wife left, but he hoped she had slept better than the previous two nights.

The day progressed much more normally than the last couple had. Minerva went to the Great Hall for all three meals. She worked on lesson plans, while Albus organized his new office. At night, the two were alone in their chambers again.

"What did you do all day, my love?" Albus asked his wife.

"Worked."

"All day?"

"I decided to draw up my own lesson plans." was the only explanation she offered.

Albus thought for a moment, and then plunged ahead. "Poppy said you shouldn't throw yourself into your work. You need to have time, first to-"

"I'm fine, Albus."

"Minerva, you are not fine. Until you can accept what happened you will not be fine."

"I have accepted it."

"How have you accepted it when you can't even admit it?"

She started crying, and he immediately felt guilty. He didn't want to push her, but he also didn't want her to get sick. Poppy had scared him with her explanation of everything that could possibly happen to his wife in the recovery phase.

"What do you want me to say?" she sobbed.

"Nothing." he answered. "Nothing that you are not ready to say."

"Albus?" she murmured"

"Yes?"

"I-I'm going to take a shower and go to bed."

"Damn." he thought as he watched her retreating back. She had been so close.

The next day was stressful on everyone. Armando Dippet's memorial service would be Albus' first public duty as headmaster.

If he messed this up, he feared he would never live it down.

Minerva felt extremely guilty that she had been unable to support her husband the way he deserved. She had been so distant that he had not been able to talk with her at all. He was too busy making sure she was okay, like the dutiful husband he was.

Right before the service began, Minerva found Albus in his office.

"Albus, you know I love you, right?

"I love you too, my dear."

"You'll be fine." she assured. Then she took his hand and placed a tender kiss on it. She hurried out of his office to join the rest of the staff by the lake.

Albus felt much more confident due to his wife's gentle support. Just knowing that she had faith in him made him feel like he could get through anything. The service went well, and afterwords everyone came to him and gave their full support in his running of the school.

Minerva had tried to pay attention to her husband, but found it rather difficult. Her thoughts were torn in two. She caught bits and pieces of what he said but that was all.

As the couple were laying in their bed that night, Minerva suddenly remembered something she did hear Albus say earlier. He had been talking about the way Armando always stood beside those he loved, no matter what they were going through. He offered his unconditional support in any way he could. Minerva thought at the time that it was a quality that Albus would also exhibit as head of the school. It was what gave Minerva the courage to say what she did now.

"Albus?"

"Yes, dear?" he questioned, turning his head toward her.

"He raped me."

A/N: I felt bad that I hadn't updated in several days, so you guys who have waited so patiently get two today. Many thanks to my reviewers. Please keep it up:)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter Six: The Long Road to Recovery

Albus lay still, waiting to see if Minerva would continue. When she didn't, he gently reached his hand across the bed. His fingertips grazed her hand, and she made no effort to pull away. They laid there, their hands barely touching, until both were asleep.

Minerva awoke first the next morning. She desperately wanted to take a shower, but fought the urge. She couldn't possibly be dirty; she had showered so much the last three days. Instead she lay in bed, staring at her husband.

When Albus woke, he immediately knew he was being watched. He opened his eyes to find himself looking into his wife's own hazel orbs. Minerva quickly looked away. She couldn't stand eye contact with her husband. Not only did she fear what he might see, she also felt it was far to intimate.

"Minerva."

"Yes?"

"It wasn't your fault."

"We should get dressed."

Minerva went into the bathroom to change, while Albus remained in the bedroom. He wasn't going to push his wife; she had taken a huge step last night. He didn't want to inhibit her progress.

The two walked to the Great Hall together. Most of the professors were already there, except Madara and Horace. Nearly Headless Nick was also present to congratulate Minerva, and offer his services if ever she should need him. It was most unfortunate that Horace picked then to make his entrance.

"What are you congratulating her for, Nick? The ability to lay down and open her legs?" he asked, cruelly.

"That's enough, Horace." Albus nearly shouted. Only a select number of people on the staff knew he and Minerva were married, and Horace had most certainly not been trusted with this informaion.

"Sorry, Albus." he mumbled.

Halfway through breakfast, the Daily Prophet arrived. On the front page was an article about the changes in administration that had been made since Headmaster Dippet died. It praised Albus for his speech at the service, but went on to question his judgment in naming someone as young as Minerva deputy.

"Well," they heard Slughorn remark to several of the other professors, "you can't blame the Prophet, can you? She is young, and she really has no other position she could take except that of headmistress. She has been given too much power too soon. She must be an exceptionally good whore."

The last comment was too much for Minerva. She jumped up and ran out of the Great Hall, tears running down her cheeks. She never heard her husband demand for Slughorn to go down to his office and stay there.

Albus quickly followed his wife to their rooms. He entered to the sounds of the shower running. He sat on the couch and tried to calm himself enough to speak with his distraught wife. As she emerged from the shower, he heard her sobbing. He was going to kill Horace.

She came into the sitting room a few minutes later. As soon as she saw her husband, she turned around and went back into their bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Albus stood and went to the door. He knocked, but received no response. Carefully, he opened the door just a crack and peeked in.

Minerva had thrown herself across the bed and buried her head in a pillow.

"Minerva?"

"Go away."

"Minerva, please. Don't push me away. Horace is not going to get away with what he said. He is waiting in his office right now, and ."

"You-you don't understand." Minerva sobbed.

"Then explain it to me."

Minerva raised her head off the pillow. "That-That's what h-he call-called me."

"Who?"

"Gr-Grin, the dark lo-" she sounded as if she might be choking. "_Him_." she said desperately.

"Oh, Minerva. It's not true. Not at all. You must know that."

"But, but you were supp-supposed to be the on-only one." At this, she buried her head back in her pillow and sobbed uncontrollably.

Albus wanted more than anything to be able to go and comfort his wife. He was unsure of how much contact she would allow, however. They had only touched hands twice since she was raped. He didn't want to frighten her. He carefully walked across the room and laid a hand gently on her back.

Minerva tensed and tried to move away. Albus immediately moved his hand and she relaxed slightly.

"My love, can you look at me?"

Minerva shook her head.

"Can you at least raise your head up and listen for a moment?"

This time she complied, so he continued. "I still am the only one. I am the only one you have ever given yourself to. I remain the only one you have ever made love with. You have no idea how it feels to know that there is someone in the world who will only ever give themselves to you. For that, I am truly grateful."

"But." she protested. "But, I-I have been with someone else."

"No, you have not. Rape is not the same as sex, Minerva. Sex is an act of love between two people who love each other; rape is an act of violence, in which the woman has no control. You were not _with_ someone else. You were violated."

Minerva said nothing, but her sobs slowed.

"If you wish to speak about anything, anything at all, you may. If not, you need not say anything." her husband said.

She looked in his direction, but not in his eyes. "Do-do you really believe what-what you just said?"

"I would not have said it if I did not believe it."

Just then, there was a knock on the door. There was only a couple of people it could have been, and it had to be an emergency for either of them to come to the couple's quarters. Albus rose and went to answer the door while Minerva blew her nose.

"Poppy, is everything all right?" asked the concerned headmaster.

"That's what I am here to ask you." the mediwitch replied as she entered the sitting room. "Is Minerva okay?"

Minerva joined Albus and Poppy a moment later before he had time to answer.

"Everything is fine, Poppy." she said.

"You don't look fine. How have you been sleeping?"

"All right."

"Have you been using the potions I sent you?"

"I don't need them."

"You look tired. Have you been having nightmares?"

"No." When she said this, Albus, who had been watching the pair intently, made an odd noise in the back of his throat.

"Hm. Are you sure about that, Minerva?" Poppy asked.

"As that does not relate to my health, I don't see what concern it is of yours." snapped Minerva.

"It concerns your mental health, which makes it very much my concern." answered Poppy, just as snappishly.

"I'm fine."

"No you are not. You are obviously not ready to accept that, though." Poppy took a few deep calming breathes before continuing. "I would like you to come to the hospital wing this afternoon, Minerva."

"Why?"

"So I can examine you again. I need to make sure all the bruising is healing as it should be."

"Absolutely not. I am fine. I would certainly know if something was not healing."

"Professor Dumbledore," Poppy pleaded, "can you please talk to her. I will be in the hospital wing all afternoon. Good day to you both." With that, Poppy turned and left their chambers.

"Minerva."

"NO" screamed Minerva, right before she ran back into the bedroom.

Albus once again followed her. "Minerva, darling. It's only Poppy. You two were friends during school. Why does this bother you so?"

"It's not something I can explain to you."

"Please go see her. I want you to be all right. Please allow her to make sure you are."

"Perhaps."

"Well," thought Albus, "it's better than nothing."

After lunch, which Minerva skipped, she did go to the hospital wing. She didn't want to, but she had treated her husband so lousy lately. The least she could do was what he had asked. He only wanted her to be okay.

"Poppy." Minerva called as she entered.

The mediwitch came out of her office. She looked genuinely pleased that her friend had come. She asked Minerva to change into a gown, and then left to give her privacy. It took all of Minerva's determination and bravery not to run out of the ward. When she had changed, she called Poppy back in.

When she was asked to lay back and spread her legs, she started to cry. Poppy put her arms around her and hugged gently. Minerva didn't flinch as she did when Albus touched her.

The two remained as they were for some time, until Minerva stopped crying. When she had composed herself, Poppy pulled back and looked at her.

"Do you want me to get Albus?" The mediwitch desperately hopped Minerva would say yes. She needed her husband so badly right now, and this might be just the motivation she needed to open up to him.

Minerva hesitated. She did want him, but what if he got there and then she changed her mind. He would have come all that way for nothing. "All that way?" she thought to herself. "It's the hospital wing. You aren't asking him to leave the country. Let him help you."

"I-I don't know." she said outloud.

"I'll go floo him. If you change your mind, he can leave."

"Okay."

Albus arrived only a moment later and went straight to his wife. He carefully touched one of her hands with his and, to his delight, she did not pull away.

"Poppy said you might need me."

"I- oh Albus, I-I don't know if I can do this."

"You've come so far already. You're doing so well." he encouraged.

"Can't you put me to sleep and then do it?" Minerva asked Poppy.

"I could, but psychologically that would be doing you no favors."

Minerva took several cleansing breathes, and laid back on the bed. Albus moved toward her head, so she would have no question about his intentions. She continued to hold his hand and when Poppy began to examine her, she squeezed it.

"Minerva, what in Merlin's name happened to your thighs?" Poppy questioned.

Minerva didn't even try to answer. She once again had tears leaking out of her eyes. She was conscious of the fact that her husband was trying to catch her eye, but she stared resolutely at the ceiling.

When it was time to examine her breasts, Albus left the curtained off area and stood right outside. He heard Poppy gasp, and became very worried.

"Minerva, whatever has happened to your thighs has also happened to your breasts. What is going on?"

"Nothing."

"Headmaster, I'm finished. You can come back."

"What's wrong?" he asked, concerned.

"Her skin looks very raw and has been bleeding in several places." Poppy answered him. Then, turning back to Minerva she asked again "What happened?"

"I-I suppose I have just been taking too many showers." she said, quietly.

"You have rubbed your skin raw trying to get the feel of his hands off of you, haven't you?" Poppy asked sadly.

Minerva simply nodded while Albus looked distressed.

"Have you considered talking to someone?"

"I-I've been talking to Albus."

"I mean a professional who can help you sort through your feelings."

"Poppy, you don't understand. I can barely speak with my own husband about this. I would never be able to talk with a stranger about something so private." Minerva was on the verge of tears again.

"I am going to give you some ointment to use on your skin. You have got to stop doing this to your body though. You are going to make yourself sore, and may even risk an infection."

"I understand."

"If you need me, you know where to find me."

"Thank you, Poppy." Albus said, as Minerva nodded.

Albus left Minerva to change in private, then walked her back to their rooms.

A/N: Thanks to all my reviewers. I really appreciate you taking the time to review. I also love all the great things you say! Please keep it up:)


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: This chapter describes the rape. It's not too graphic, but it is there. You have been forewarned.

Chapter Seven: True Acceptance

Once they returned to their quarters, Minerva sat staring into the fire. Albus went and sat next to his wife.

"Are you-"

"Don't Albus. Just don't."

Minerva stood and walked into their bedroom. She returned with a pillow and a blanket.

"If you are staying in our rooms tonight, you will need these for the couch." she said briskly, then re-entered the bedroom, sealing and locking the door behind her.

Albus didn't understand what happened, but wasn't surprised by it. Poppy had warned him that Minerva might have set backs and he shouldn't be discouraged by them. He decided to stay on the couch rather than go to his personal quarters. Minerva might have a nightmare and need him.

When she awoke, the weight of what she had done the night before sank in. She had completely pushed him away. The two had only ever had two small arguments in their entire marriage. Last night, she had banned him from their bedroom. She just hoped that he would be just as understanding with this as he had everything else.

As she showered, she knew the time was coming when she would have to fully open up to him. She had reached the point Poppy warned her against. She was now risking harm to her marriage that may not be repairable. She vowed to herself that today would be the day.

Albus was gone when she entered the sitting room, so she hurried down to the Great Hall. As she entered, her husband caught her eye. She smiled, almost shyly, and he returned it. This relieved Minerva greatly, as he appeared not to be angry with her. She wished she didn't have to endure breakfast with the other professors before she could talk to him.

Minerva sat nibbling on toast and reading the Daily Prophet. In the back, with the advertisements and announcements, was an article regarding interviews for a Potions Master at Hogwarts.

"Albus?"

"Yes, Minerva?"

"Where's Horace?"

"He had to take a leave of absence" her husband said simply.

"As well he should." added Professor Kettleburn.

After breakfast, Minerva went to the headmaster's office. It was only the second time she had been there since it became her husband's.

"I'm sorry, Albus."

"You need not apologize. I realize yesterday was difficult for you."

"But you were so kind. I had no right to yell at you."

"It is all forgotten."

"Why did you sack Horace?" she asked, changing the subject.

"What makes you think I did, my dear?"

"Because I know you."

"Firstly, he had no right to speak to a fellow teacher the way he did. Such disrespect must not be tolerated. Secondly, you are my wife. As your husband, I will not allow someone to speak that way to you."

"Why?"

"Because you deserve better."

"I-I feel like such a coward. I should have dealt with this better." Minerva said as she moved to the window so she would not have to face Albus. He, however, followed her. He lightly put one hand on each of hers. She, in turn, gently clasped them.

"You are handling this as well as anyone could. No one is expecting you to continue life as if nothing happened."

They looked deeply into each other's eyes for what seemed like an age. Albus could see how unsure she still was. Minerva saw only devotion and understanding in his gaze.

Minerva led him to the couch and both sat down. She had to do this. She couldn't let her life be ruled by something Grindelwald did. If she lost herself, it would only be another victory for the deceased dark lord. He already had far too many of those.

"I wasn't expecting- I wasn't prepared- I don't know how to deal with this. I hate this feeling of helplessness I have had ever since- ever since he held me down. Ever since I couldn't get away from him."

"You did everything you could. It does not make you weak."

Minerva nodded. "I think I am starting to believe that. I don't know how to feel better, though. I feel so helpless and useless and scared."

"He can't hurt you any longer."

"I know. I'm not scared of him. I"m scared of what this is turning me into. I'm scared of what this is doing to us."

"I have told you before that you need not worry about us. I will always be her for you, and with you for as long as you will allow me."

"I want my old life back, Albus."

"I know. But your life is different now. You can put this behind you, but it will always be a fact of your past."

"Having to deal with that scares me too."

"It will get easier. You just have to be patient, my dear."

"I want to be able to be a good wife to you. I miss our intimacy, but the thought of actually doing anything makes me nauseous. I get so nervous thinking about it."

"I am not expecting that from you for a long time. You can take all the time you need."

"That's not fair to you."

"It would be unfair of me to want something from you that you are not ready to give."

"Thank you for being so understanding, Albus."

Albus took her hand and kissed the palm. "It will get easier, Minerva. I promise."

"Poppy says it will get easier once I talk about that night."

Albus surveyed her seriously. "Are you ready for that?"

"I-I don't know. If I don't try I will never know."

"Don't rush yourself. Take as long as you need."

"Okay. Just, please don't interrupt me. I'm not sure I could start again if you stop me." Albus nodded, so she continued.

"I don't know how we got separated. There were so many of them. I thought I was still close to you and the other members of the order. By the time I realized I wasn't with any of you, it was too late. Three people disarmed me and dragged me to him."

"He taunted me for a while before- before he used a spell to banish my clothes." Here, Minerva began to cry again. Albus handed her a handkerchief, but didn't say anything.

"He-he conjured a bed and used another spell to tie me down with my legs spread apart. He started calling me names, telling me what a whore I was. By the time he got to the bed, he had undressed completely. He didn't use a spell on himself. I think he wanted me to see him strip. It gave me more time to panic about what was going to happen."

"He-he, oh Merlin, Albus. I-I" Minerva was hyperventalating by this point. Albus took her by the hands and gently massaged her wrists in small circles. She didn't pull away; in fact, this seemed to calm her. She grabbed his hands with hers and squeezed. Then she continued.

"He started running his-his hands over my body. I was biting my tongue so hard to keep from screaming. He was so rough, and I felt so dirty. I don't know how long he touched me. It seemed like hours, but it could have been only minutes. Finally, he laid on top- on top of me and-" Minerva broke down in sobs.

Whether it was an accident or a reflex reaction, Minerva placed her head on Albus' shoulder. He gently raised his hands and placed them on her back. She didn't shudder, so he kept them there.

Finally, in a small voice she said, "and he entered me. I couldn't hold back the screams then. I kept thinking I was cheating on you, like I was letting you down.

He finished, and told me he was going to kill me now that my purpose had been fulfilled. Then, I couldn't think at all. I was so happy and so horrified all at once when you came in. You saved my life, but I was sure you hated me when you saw I had been with another man. I realize now that you were right. I wasn't really _with_ him, but that's not how it seemed at the time."

The two sat silently, her head still on his shoulder, for an eternity after that was said.

A/N 2: Sorry it took so long for the update. I knew what direction I wanted this to take, but suffered from writer's block when it came to actually getting there. Thanks for all the great reviews. Keep it up:)


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter Eight: Progress

When the two finally broke apart, Minerva chanced a look at her husband. There was no disgust in his eyes, to her relief; just the same love and understanding he had always shown.

"Thank you for trusting me enough to tell me." Albus said, so quietly it was almost a whisper.

Minerva nodded, not trusting herself to speak. When she had gathered her thoughts, she looked up.

"So, I believe you need to fill me in on all my new duties." she said.

"Are you certain you are feeling up to this right now?"

"I'm sure. I feel better than I have in days."

The two spent the rest of the day working together. It was not by any means completely normal, but it was a start.

Over the next couple of days, Minerva became more comfortable around her husband. She did not shirk from his touch on her hand or her back.

A week had soon past since Minerva told Albus what had happened to her that night. She knew he had to be getting restless with their lack of intimacy. The two normally made love at least once every other night, if not more. She knew that he would never cheat on her, but she didn't want him to suffer because of her. It was this thought that drove her to his arms one night.

He had been working in his office until late that evening. When he finally returned to the couple's quarters, Minerva was waiting for him.

"How was your evening, dear?" she asked.

"Busy. I do believe I have found a new Potion's teacher. He is coming for an interview tomorrow."

"That's a relief. I can't believe the board had such a hissy fit when they heard you had sacked Slughorn. It's none of their concern, as long as you replace him before the start of term.

"I am still in the testing phase, I think. Don't think on it. All will work itself out."

Minerva sat quietly with her husband for awhile. Both stared into the fire, lost in their own thoughts. Finally Minerva grabbed her husband's hand. She began rubbing soft circles on it, giving Albus chill bumps.

Next she kissed his cheek, trailing her lip over to his ear, where she nibbled gently.

"Minerva?" Albus questioned.

Minerva didn't respond. She didn't honestly even hear him. She was so lost in thought that she had tuned out all other things. This didn't feel right to her. She wasn't ready, but was determined to push herself to please her husband. He was such a strong, understanding man. He deserved a woman who could do this for him.

Minerva gently hooked her arms around his neck and lifted herself up. Sitting on his lap, she continued to kiss him.

"Minerva?" Albus asked again. He could feel his wife trembling, but not in the way she normally did when they did this.

As she shifted her weight, she felt his arousal dig into her hip. She whimpered, but it was a high-pitched, distressed sound.

"Minerva, stop." Albus commanded gently. He moved her off his lap and placed her next to him, taking her hand and kissing it.

"I want to be with you very much, but not like this. You are quite obviously not ready. Until you are, we are not doing this."

"But I-I want you to be satisfied. I know you can't be now." she whispered, ashamed that she could not fulfill her duties as his wife.

"You forcing yourself through this will not satisfy me, either. I want you to be a willing participate in our love making. You can not do that at this time, which is fine with me. I am willing to wait as long as necessary."

"You shouldn't have to wait. I'm your wife; I'm suppose to be able to do this."

"You will be, eventually. Don't worry about me. Being with you is such an incredible, beautiful experience. I want you to be able to give yourself to me fully at that time. Until then, do not berate yourself. You are not being negligent in your duties as my wife."

"But-"

"Indeed," Albus continued as though he had not been interrupted, "the unlimited support you have given me since Armando's death has been invaluable."

Minerva smiled at him, kissed his cheek, and leaned into him. Albus, in turn, wrapped his arms around her. The two cuddled by the fire for the rest of the evening.

As the days continued to pass, life began to return to normal. Minerva's nightmares eased and she was finally able to sleep.

One night while asleep, Minerva snuggled next to Albus. He awoke first the next morning, but stayed still. He missed holding her, and her warmth was very welcome. When she awoke and found herself against him, she did not jerk away.

"Are you uncomfortable, my dear?" he asked, prepared to leave the bed.

"No." she answered, smiling. "This is fine."

Two weeks later, Minerva awoke feeling horrible. She got out of bed, and went to the bathroom. Once there, she vomited everything she had eaten. This was not a lot, as food was one thing she still had a problem dealing with. Albus walked into the bathroom to be with her.

"Should I get Poppy?" he asked when she was finished.

"No. No, I'll go see her after breakfast if I am not feeling better."

Minerva never went to breakfast. She sat at her desk in the sitting room, a calendar in front of her.

"Oh Merlin, no." she whispered.

"What is it, my dear?" asked Albus from the door. She didn't even hear him come in.

"It can't be." she said.

Albus walked to his wife and glanced down. He knew what she was doing immediately.

"The potion couldn't have failed, could it?" Minerva asked.

"Let's go see Poppy." Albus answered, gently pulling her up.

As the couple entered the hospital wing, Poppy came out of her office.

"What brings you two here?" the mediwitch asked. She hadn't seen very much of Minerva the last couple of weeks. The young woman's nightmares had abated and Albus said she was recovering well. Poppy was still concerned about her eating habits, as Minerva was never seen in the Great Hall, but that was the only problem.

Minerva and Albus exchanged glances. Finally, Minerva spoke.

"How great of a chance is there that the potion I took wouldn't work?"

"Which potion?" Poppy asked. Minerva had taken so many potions recently, that the mediwitch had no clue which one she was referring to.

Minerva hesitated. "The one to prevent a pregnancy."

"WHAT?" shrieked the midiwitch, before regaining control of herself. "Oh, I do apologize. That was highly unprofessional. Now, why do you believe it may not have worked properly?"

"I've been vomiting, and I am late." Minerva answered.

"How late?"

"Two weeks."

This time Poppy was able to conceal her shock. "I see." she responded calmly, while inwardly screaming. "This can't be happening. It will destroy them." she thought.

"There could be another explanation." Poppy tried to be encouraging, but it was so hard. "If you like, I can perform the charm right now."

"Let's get it over with." Minerva answered.

"Lay down, please." Poppy ordered.

Minerva did so and Albus walked to her side and took her hand.

"Whatever happens, I am still here, my dear." he whispered.

Minerva nodded as Poppy performed the spell. Moments later, they heard her sigh in what they hoped was relief.

"Well?" Albus questioned.

"You're not pregnant, Minerva."

"Oh, thank Merlin." she said.

"That is wonderful news." Albus said, then continued. "If that is not what is causing her to be sick, what is?"

"I'm not certain. I will have to run some tests." Poppy answered. "Stress can sometimes effect a woman's cycle, and Merlin knows you have had plenty of that recently."

Poppy checked several things, before questioning Minerva.

"How much have you eaten recently?"

"I've been eating all right."

"No you haven't. You must start eating in the Great Hall again. Lack of food also has a tendency to interfere in a woman's natural cycle. I believe this is the reason you have not had a period in so long."

"What about the vomiting?" asked Albus, who was looking at Minerva with a very closed expression.

"Because she has not been eating, the acid in her stomach is eating away at the lining, making her sick." She turned to Minerva. "Why haven't you been eating?"

"It's not a conscious thing I have been doing. I just haven't made an effort. I got used to not stopping to eat over the first week after the-after I was raped." she said bravely.

Poppy looked sadly at her friend. "You have made progress, haven't you?"

"Yes." Minerva answered. "I'll try harder."

"If you can not, then I will have to give you a potion to stimulate your appetite. Albus, make sure she accompanies you to the hall for meals." Poppy said, then turned back to Minerva. "You really do need to gain a little weight to compensate for all you have last over the past month. Go with Albus to eat. You don't want to get sick now, do you? You've come so far."

"I'll eat. I promise." Minerva answered. "And thank you."

"You're very welcome." the mediwitch answered as Albus and Minerva walked out the doors.

A/N: I really appreciate all the reviews. Someone (bogus7, just looked it up) said that this was probably close to the end. There is only going to be only two more chapters. However, there is a sequel, of which the first chapter has been started. I will include the summary to it in the end notes next chapter. Thanks again and keep up the great reviews:)


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: Not mine

Chapter Nine: A False Prediction?

"It's lunch time. Why don't we head to the hall?" suggested Albus.

"All right."

Minerva sat next to her husband and Slughorn's replacement. Albus had no trouble filling the position with a former student of his. The young man, now Professor Penbrook, introduced himself. She had yet to meet him, as she had been so busy working on her own responsibilities. He seemed perfectly charming, not at all like his predecessor.

Minerva was aware all through the meal that Albus was watching her closely. She ate as much as she could, which was not that much.

The afternoon was spent in the same manner as much of the last few weeks had been spent. Minerva never realized all her husband had been responsible for until she had it all to do.

That night the couple went to bed exhausted. It was the first night in a almost two weeks that Minerva had a nightmare. She had been peacefully dreaming of chasing mice in her animagus form one minute, and the next minute she was with Grindelwald again.

She awoke, sweating and crying. At some point she must have screamed because her husband was awake and watching her carefully.

"I-I need to go take a shower."

"No, Minerva." Albus said gently.

"But-"

"But nothing, my dear. It was only a nightmare. A nightmare based on true events, yes, but only a nightmare."

Minerva wanted to argue, but another part of her understood what Albus meant. If this continued to affect her totally, if her life changed completely because of what happened, she would never recover. She wanted a normal life with her husband more than anything, so she laid back down and tried to put the dream out of her mind. She eventually fell back to sleep and was nightmare-free for the rest of the night.

The next morning, Minerva was quite proud of herself. She had made another small step toward her ultimate goal of normalcy.

That same morning, she was also able to eat a full breakfast. It was the first actual meal she had eaten in weeks.

As the couple were getting into bed that night, Minerva asked the question she had been dreading the answer to.

"Albus, How many people know what happened?"

"I believe most, if not all, of the order."

"How many people were with you when you found me?"

"Just three."

Minerva nodded lighly, but said nothing. Albus could see that she was upset, but did not know how to comfort her.

"Why does that bother you, my dear?" he asked.

"It's embarrassing."

"You have nothing to be ashamed of. No one thinks any less of you because of this."

"Would you want to be found in the position I was?"

"Minerva, it was not your fault."

"That isn't what I asked." she snapped.

Albus sighed. He didn't want to fight with his wife; they never had before she was raped. She was so combative though. Poppy had told him to expect this, so he was somewhat prepared for it. Minerva had been improving so well over the last week or so that he thought they were finished with this.

"Minerva-"

"Why don't you care?"

"Pardon?"

"Why don't you care?" she repeated.

"I do care, my dear. I care very much. Why are you under the impression that I don't."

"Because, you haven't said so."

"I believe I have, Minerva."

"No, you said you care about me and that you wish to help me. You have not, however, seemed to care in the slightest what actually happened."

Albus was confused to say the least. He didn't know what Minerva was talking about. He did know that it was upsetting her greatly, but he was hesitant to say anything. However, she appeared to be getting angry over his lack of a response as well.

"Minerva, I honestly am not sure what you are talking about. I do care very much for you. I love you and-"

"That's not what I mean."

"Can you try to explain what you mean?"

"I know that you have the reputation for being calm, no matter what you are facing. It is normally an excellent ability to possess, but-" Minerva trailed off. "I just don't understand how you can be calm about this. Aren't you angry at all? I'm your wife. How can you not be angry? Don't you care what he stole from you?"

"I don't expect you to remember, but I was very angry when I found you. I have never killed anyone, unless it was absolutely necessary."

"It was necessary for you to kill Grindelwald." Minerva interrupted.

Albus held up his hand to stall anything else she might say. "It was not necessary to do it the way I did. The others I killed were all during battle and I always regretted having to do it. I did not this time. I never wanted to feel better after someone was dead. I never wanted to need revenge as badly as I did that night."

"Oh, Albus. Why haven't you said anything before now?"

"I didn't see how that would have helped you, my dear."

Minerva began crying again. "I-I'm sorry I yelled at you again."

Albus smiled sadly and pulled her against him. They laid there, simply holding each other, well into the night.

Two days later, during lunch, Cassandra Trelawny appeared from the Divination tower. The other professors rarely saw Cassandra, as she believed spending too much time around "mere mortals" would adversely affect her inner eye. She was a famed seer and had been pretty accurate in her prime. Sadly, as age had taken it's toll, her inner eye had lost it's sight.

"Why did you keep her on staff, Albus?" whispered Minerva.

Albus chuckled. It was no secret that his wife loathed the subject of Divination.

"I couldn't sack her, my dear. I didn't want to push my luck with the governors. Besides, she's old and has no place else to go."

The meal was quite enjoyable until dessert, when Cassandra shrieked.

"Someone here is carrying a secret." she proclaimed

The other professors stared at each other. That particular proclamation could have applied to all of them. They were all friends, but they were all probably keeping some things about their personal lives to themselves.

"This is a life-changing secret." Cassandra continued.

Albus and Minerva were both thinking along the same lines. Cassandra had found out they were married and was about to inform the entire staff.

"Something bad has taken place."

Minerva paled. Surely Cassandra couldn't have found out about the rape. She couldn't be about to disclose this information to everyone. Cassandra looked directly at Minerva, who further paled.

"You will need the wisdom gained from this experience."

Then, Cassandra stood and left the hall. Poppy was staring at Minerva, wondering how on earth Cassandra had known. She certainly didn't tell her. Most of the other professors, along with Albus, were staring at her as well.

"What was that about, Minerva?" Filius asked.

"I have no idea." she said simply, before forcing down the rest of her lunch.

"Sack her, Albus."

Minerva was standing in her husband's office that same afternoon.

"I have no grounds to get rid of her.

"Can't you do anything?"

"Why are you so concerned about what she said when you don't even believe in true seers?"

"To be perfectly honest, I don't know."

"Do not think on it. Cassandra has grown eccentric in her waning years. It was probably nothing."

"Of course, you're right. Now, I certainly have much better things to spend my time on then this. I'll see you later, Albus."

"Good-bye, my dear."

The next week and a half disappeared rather quickly. All the professors were totally occupied with preparing for the beginning of the year. It was that way every year, and no one understood why. They would spend their summers planning lessons and homework, along with preparing the castle. With the ability to do magic and all the house elves at their disposal, they shouldn't be rushed to complete tasks before September first. Yet, every year there was a mad rush to finish things during the last two weeks of summer holidays.

"I can't believe the students are returning tomorrow." Minerva remarked, as she was preparing for bed. "Are you nervous about being headmaster, dear?"

"I am sure this is just another thing that comes with experience." her husband said.

"It's me you're talking to, remember?"

"Yes, I am a little nervous."

"You'll be a great headmaster. I know it." she crossed the room to her husband, and gently kissed his cheek.

Minerva laid down next to Albus and leaned over him, giving him a brief kiss on his lips.

"Albus?" she asked, before kissing him again.

"Yes, my dear?"

She kissed him more passionately this time.

"I think I'm ready."

A/N: Thank you all so much for the great reviews. I really appreciate you being patient. I know it has taken me a while between updates, but this is really difficult to write at times. Thanks again and please review:)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: Not mine

A/N: This chapter contains sex between MM/AD. I feel a need to state this because of a few reviews I have received stating that this is gross. I want to forewarn everyone, so I can hopefully avoid that. Special thanks to the person who reviewed saying thay were not reading the story. I don't know how you can review a story you haven't read, but thanks all the same.

Chapter Ten: Recovery

Albus regarded her carefully.

"Are you certain?"

"Not entirely, but I think I am."

"You don't have to-" but he was cut off as Minerva kissed him again.

"Albus, I want to do this. I am not forcing myself; I want to make love with you."

This time he responded when she kissed him. Only when they had to catch their breath did they stop. With the next kiss, Minerva opened her mouth to him. Their tongues massaged each other, until Minerva moaned. Albus pulled away quickly, interpreting her response differently than she had meant it.

"It's okay, Albus. I'm okay." she encouraged.

They resumed their heated kissing and soon Minerva was laying on top of him. When she next moved, her pelvis came in contact with his rapidly growing arousal. Her eyes flew open and she gasped, but did not pull away. Albus stilled, waiting to see what she would do. Minerva simply leaned down and continued kissing him.

Albus was doing his best to control himself but it was difficult. His mind and body seemed to be at war with each other. He didn't want to do anything to frighten her. The logical part of his brain told him to go slow, and not be too disappointed should she need to stop. At the same time that he was telling himself this, his body was sending another message entirely. One that reminded him that this was his beautiful wife laying on top of him. He could feel her breasts through the flimsy nightgown she wore.

That's when he noticed the change in her attire. Recently, she had been wearing heavy pajamas to bed. This gown was one she reserved for after showers, before she stripped herself to sleep. That meant she had been planning this. The thought reassured Albus that she was not just acting rashly; She had thought this through.

Minerva seemed to be getting restless with just kissing. She wasn't doing more though and Albus was hesitant to. Finally, she unbuttoned his shirt and began kissing his chest. This went on for several minutes, before Minerva raised up.

"What's wrong?" she asked.

"Whatever do you mean, my love?"

"You aren't touching me at all. Do- do you not want-"

"That has nothing to do with it, Minerva." Albus quickly reassured. "I am just afraid of startling you."

"I'm fine. You said before that you didn't want to do this until I could give myself to you fully. I am." With that, she laid back and waited for him to make the next move.

He leaned down and kissed her gently, cupping her face with his hands. Ever so slowly, one hand left her face and moved to massage her arm. He trailed it up and down a couple of times, causing her to moan and shiver slightly. As he reached her shoulder again, he moved it over to her breast. Albus was careful to keep eye contact with his wife as he reached his goal. She moaned again, but he did not pull away this time.

His hands continued to roam her body slowly. He could feel her building to her breaking point. As one of his hands slipped under her gown, she began to tremble. He gently rubbed her thighs, feeling her legs part for him. At this, Minerva sighed.

"Are you still all right?" he asked.

"Hm, yes." she said, though part of the passion she felt had died.

"I will stop if you need me to. All you have to do is say the word."

"I know. I want to do this. I am a bit apprehensive, but I want it." she answered.

Albus began massaging her thighs again. He carefully rubbed his way upward, until he was at her center. He focused his eyes on hers and gingerly touched her.

She was breathing heavily, though Albus was unsure whether it was in fear or arousal. She began to moan as he continued his minstrations.

"Albus, please."

He raised off of her and lifted her gown. It was deposited onto the floor, followd by his own clothes. As he swept his gaze over her, Minerva almost lost her courage. He could see her turmoil as she resisted covering herself.

Minerva wanted her husband so much, and yet was so afraid. He had been so gentle with her, so she should not dread the moment of their joining. She glanced back at her husband's face to see him watching her.

"You're beautiful." he said, as he kissed her lips sweetly.

He kept eye contact with her as he once again covered her body with his. Both moaned at the sensation of their bodies making contact with each other.

"Are you ready, my dear?" Albus tentatively asked.

"Yes."

He reached for her hand, his eyes never wavering from hers. Watching her response, he entered her slowly. When he was fully sheathed, he paused.

Minerva drew a shaky breath. "I'm okay."

Their lovemaking was gentle and cautious. Neither dared look away from the other. Minerva was startled to feel her desire start to mount. She hadn't thought release would be possible. While her husband was an excellent lover, she feared she would be too frigid. Yet as they both cried out together, all thought of the last few weeks were driven from their minds.

"Are you all right, my love?" Albus asked as he laid down beside her.

Minerva glanced up at him. "Yes, I am." she answered softly as she cuddled against him.

Before long both gave into exhaustion completely.

Minerva woke the next morning feeling odd. It wasn't necessarily bad, but it did feel unusual. She had fallen asleep in her husband's arms completely nude. While she used to sleep this way, she hadn't for weeks now.

"Are you all right, my dear?" Albus asked, spotting the disconcerted look on his wife's face.

"I- I think so, Albus." she said. "I just don't know why this feels awkward."

"Would you like your gown?" he asked, concerned. As Minerva shook her head, he added, "The awkwardness will not last forever. Poppy said it may be like this at first, but that it would get back to normal with time."

"But you're my husband. I shouldn't have to get used to being with you again."

Albus drew her close to him and kissed her cheek. "Do not fret over it, my love. It is the way things are. We can not change them, but we must not let them change us."

Minerva snuggled into his arms. "How long have you been this wise, dear?"

"I don't remember. Why do you ask?"

"I expect you have always been this way; you were born old."

"If you had only known me when I was a student here, you would not think that. Aberforth and I were quite the troublemakers."

Minerva laughed gently. "I find that incredibly hard to believe, Albus Dumbledore."

The two laid in bed for a long time that morning, until a knock was heard on their door. Neither had time to move before Poppy burst into their quarters.

"Albus." she shouted.

"In a moment." he responded. He muttered a quick charm to dress himself, and left Minerva's side. She used the same charm and followed him into the sitting room.

"Yes, Poppy?" he asked, once she was in view.

"You are obviously okay. Is Minerva?" Poppy asked, frantically.

"I am quite all right." Minerva answered for herself.

"Oh, my." the mediwitch muttered.

"What?" Minerva asked, looking at her husband. There was certainly nothing about him that would trigger that response from Poppy. She wondered if there was something wrong with her own appearance.

"I was afraid one of you were ill. It is half past eleven on the day that the students are returning. I never dreamed I would, um, be interrupting anything. Good for you, Minerva."

Minerva's cheeks flushed. "How did you know?"

"Your hair."

Albus glanced at his wife and chuckled. "It is quite disheveled dear."

Minerva blushed a deeper red than she already was before Poppy cleared her throat.

"If I may ask, did you experience any pain?"

"No." answered Minerva, positively scarlet now. "Definitely no pain."

This somehow made Albus blush as well.

"Excellent. That is good news- healed and eveything." Poppy said uncomfortably. "Well, I'll be going now."

She saw herself out, leaving Albus and Minerva standing there.

"How much longer do you think we could be missing?" Minerva asked.

"I think we could manage a little longer." he answered. "Why?"

"Because I wasn't really ready to get out of bed."

Half an hour later, a house elf served the couple lunch in bed. They had not talked that much; they were content to simply lay in each other's arms.

As they ate, they discussed things of little consequence. It wasn't until the table was cleared that Albus looked at her seriously.

"How do you feel?" he asked.

Minerva smiled at him. "I feel fine, Albus. I have no regrets about last night."

"Are you certain, my dear?"

"Quite certain. Now, if I am not mistaken, we are going to have to dress properly and prepare for tonight."

Hours later, Minerva sat watching her husband stand before the students. The hall quieted when they say him.

"Welcome. Welcome to another year at Hogwarts."

Minerva tried to pay attention to her husband's speech, but her mind wondered. In her heart, she knew that it was just the first of many start of term speeches he would give as headmaster. No matter what happened, this is how she wanted to spend her entire life. Not necessarily at the school, though that would be welcomed, but with the man she loved more than anything else. As long as he was by her side, she felt certain she could overcome any obstacle.

A/N: Hallelujah, I'm finished. I loved writing it, but it was difficult at times. I can't believe I am about to embark on a sequel. As promised, the summary follows. Thanks to everyone who reviewed. I am so happy you enjoyed it. I look forward to hearing from you during the sequel and also now. So please review:)

Another Dark Lord: Many years later, one of Minerva's Gryffindors is raped by another dark lord. Can she help this student cope, or will she be overcome by her own forgotten fears?


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